The Political Asylum

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject: Thought for the day

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:04 pm Post subject: Re: Thought for the day

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:09 pm Post subject:

If I had a parachute I wouldn't care whether it was crashing on land or water.
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:11 pm Post subject:

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:13 pm Post subject:

Why not?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject:

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject:

Why hasn't someone invented a parachute/flotation device combi?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:26 pm Post subject:

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:35 pm Post subject:

No...I'm a verbal genius, I don't do inventions. Razz

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:39 pm Post subject:

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:43 pm Post subject:

Hmph

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

wakeyboy · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 12:18 am Post subject:

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http://www.realradioyorkshire.co.uk/

Vintage Girl · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:05 pm Post subject:

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

cherrybabe · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 345

Don't you have to be at a certain altitude to use a parachute ?

If you were going down fast i reckon the parachute would be a waste of time, hence the life jacket.
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I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me.

Merak · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 214

Lady Viola Wellbeloved · Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 66 Location: Out of this World

kitchenwitch · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject:

I would rather that any plane I'm on just doesn't crash.
A parachute wouldn't be much good if you're plummeting to earth in a plane full of panicked people; you'd have to manage to get the parachute on, climb over the person who claimed they would be able to open the emergency door should one occur, and then wrestle with the door yourself to be able to leap out. Oh, and then you have to actually jump and clear the plane, hopefully not getting sucked into the engine first. It would be much better to sit in your seat kissing your ass goodbye.

JuanaLaLoca · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:53 pm Post subject:

kitchenwitch · Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject:

Vintage Girl · Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:03 pm Post subject:

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

kitchenwitch · Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject:

It's that other 25% that will get you if you do move. Wink

Lady Viola Wellbeloved · Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 66 Location: Out of this World

How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work?
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Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 12:02 am Post subject:

On skis??

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

SilverMiniCooperS · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 195

He takes the plough home with him?

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject:

You mean like that's his company car? Laughing

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:24 pm Post subject:

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

JuanaLaLoca · Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 9:10 pm Post subject:

I don't even wanna think about it!

Lady Viola Wellbeloved · Joined: 29 Mar 2008 Posts: 66 Location: Out of this World

Probably from the same place as bird seed!
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Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

Vintage Girl · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject:

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject:

Quote:

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Just a thought!
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

muppetmurderer · Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 1:06 am Post subject:

kitchenwitch · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:53 pm Post subject:

muppetmurderer · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject:

If tea is the national drink of England, what is the national drink of India?
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Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy? It means you're in the wrong house

Vintage Girl · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:39 pm Post subject:

Indian Tonic Water.............obviously! Rolling Eyes

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

JuanaLaLoca · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject:

I thought it might be ghee.

kitchenwitch · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject:

I would have thought IPA.

Vintage Girl · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 2:01 am Post subject:

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

JuanaLaLoca · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject:

And Evel Knievel might try to jump them!

Merak · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 214

Can I add one...

Why is the word "Dictionary" in the Dictionary? A Dictionary is of no use to anybody who doesn't already know what it is, and if you just need to know how to spell it, then it's written on the cover and down the spine as well.

Would be great if they put as its entry, Dictionary: n that book you're looking at. Laughing

kitchenwitch · Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:41 am Post subject:

poppycock · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 533

Mpls Druid · Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:15 pm Post subject:

If you choke a smurf, what colour would it turn?

muppetmurderer · Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject:

Druid (if I may be so informal even though we haven't been introduced), the abuse of stuffed and hand operated puppets, marionettes, dolls and other similar creatures falls within my realm, and so I shall research the question and get back to you with an answer!

Very Happy

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Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy? It means you're in the wrong house

cherrybabe · Inmate of the Asylum Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 345

Ohhhh i'm almost sure we could choke a rainbow out for a muppet !
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I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me.

muppetmurderer · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 12:43 pm Post subject:

If a man is in a forest talking to himself with no women around, is he still wrong?
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Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy? It means you're in the wrong house

Vintage Girl · Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject:

Of course he is, he's a man!!

(what a completely superfluous question)
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

kitchenwitch · Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject:

muppetmurderer · Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:08 pm Post subject:

You're quite right VG it is superfluous! Because we all know that it there was a woman around, the chance of a man getting a word in edgeways would be practically zero......

(I meant to ask, VG, if as you say, your wits are at their sharpest at 2am, what are they like at half-past.....?)

Smile

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Do you know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little tenderness, and a little sympathy? It means you're in the wrong house

Vintage Girl · Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:50 am Post subject:

It doesn't actually matter that he can't get a word in because he has nothing valid or significant to say. Very Happy

(At 2.30am the sharpness of my tongue negates the need for sharpened wits)
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

kitchenwitch · Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:36 pm Post subject: